Chicago Weekend Fun!

Planning a wedding in Chicago is stressful but a lot of fun and an amazing experience all at the same time. After all you’re getting married! What could be more exciting than that? I decided to tackle this topic since it’s spring in Chicago and that means there will be a lot of weddings every weekend starting now, as well as a lot of engagements. I have a lot of knowledge about Chicago, so if I haven’t listed something here you want to know, post a comment and I will do my best to post an answer.

I have been the maid of honor in 2 weddings recently and I saw the planning stages up close and personal. They both took over a year to plan and the events came together beautifully with the help of friends, family and great vendors and service providers. I also sold bridal gowns for a year at Priscilla of Boston as a weekend-second-job so I saw brides every weekend and heard all their stories. Here is some advice from the Brides and from me on how to stay organized and keep things together when planning your wedding.

1. Get a notebook and start keeping phone numbers, business cards and take notes about costs, services, dates and other information that you will need to keep track of in order to coordinate this wedding. If you can afford a wedding planner, fair play to you, let them take the notes. If not, you and your mom or soon to be mother in law as well as maid (or matron) of honor should work together on gathering information on choices of everything and organizing information when decisions are made by the bride and groom. Sometimes the delegate idea works and sometimes it doesn’t. If you feel that your family and bridesmaids can’t handle all this in addition to what is happening in their lives you may be more on your own. And it might be time to scale back plans or get a wedding planner.

2. It’s ok to ask for financial help. It’s also ok to pay for the wedding yourself. Every family is different and walking into this process with financial expectations of who will pay for what can be dangerous. It is always a good idea to chat with parents or relatives that have said they would help pay for things before you sign any contracts for services. Find out what they really want to cover for you (if they can) and what they think it will cost. When you go to photographers, videographers, banquet halls, bridal gown stores and florists make note of how much more everything costs than you thought. Keep a list and see where the totals are at. You and your Fiance’ may have to cover the difference. Tradition commonly dictates that the bride’s parents will pay for the wedding but many couples today find themselves wanting to be in complete control of the wedding or have parents that can’t afford to contribute, so the bride and groom end up planning and paying for it themselves. Sometimes the groom’s parents may also pitch in to help by covering the bar tab at the reception and limo costs. The average cost of a wedding these days from theknot.com is said to be $15,000.00 and more than 1/2 of that is from the reception. Yikes!

3. It’s about your actual life together not your dreams. Some brides get swept away into the Disney fairy tale where they get whatever they want and the wedding is a celebration of everything they have dreamed of their entire life regardless of costs and family and sometimes even the groom’s wishes. The problem is that those images are sold to you to sell more wedding stuff. If you look back historically, the wedding is actually more about celebrating the real life you will have together and introducing both sides of the family and getting a little drunk in the process. It doesn’t have to be as fancy as a Trump wedding to be happy and fun and full of love. Bridezillas are made from Disney Movies and no one wants to be near one. Please don’t be a bridezilla if your shoes don’t come in or your flowers aren’t perfect or your fiance looks tired of you complaining about every detail of napkin and music for months. Try and think past the wedding to the time you will be actually living together every day and see if that makes you happier. Because it should.

4. I know costs can be a bit much and most of the stuff that you pay for is way over priced, most people feel that the things not to skimp on are the food & beverages, the photographer and the rings. No one cares what paper the invitations are made from or what day and time the wedding is at or what song the DJ plays next. They care about seeing you and your fiance get married and having a good meal (where no one gets sick) and whooping it up with a few drinks with the relatives. You are really host for the night and while you are going through a momentus event yourself, you have to be host for everyone else at the same time and make sure they are having a great time. It’s always good to focus on them and be gracious. The photographer is important because that is your record of the event and you want them to turn out great. Can’t afford a fancy photographer? Check out flickr.com for wedding photos in your city and ask who took them. Sometimes amateur photographers are just as good but without the marketing money to buy ads. If you see really good wedding photo work from someone on Flickr give them a call. The rings are important in that they should be comfortable and symbolic, and not that they should only be expensive. The rings will be worn as long as you are married, (forever right?) so comfort is key, and customizing them with inscriptions or dates can help make them even more special. Also, don’t forget the donation to the church or place you hold the ceremony. This is custom if it isn’t stated up front.

5. If things get too crazy mediating between families you can just take all the planning in house yourself or go elope in Vegas. I am not really kidding. Everyone goes through a point when they think they should have just eloped to Las Vegas rather than plan a big family wedding. The truth is 95% of them get through it and it turns out fine. The other 5% are in Vegas and have a good time too but there are less photos because things that happen in Vegas stay in Vegas. So, it’s win win really. A wedding ceremony in Las Vegas in the Paris or Venetian hotels can run $2,500.00 though if you get all the extras like photos and a big suite. Still that is a lot less than the full wedding cost.

6. Things you can cut back on to save money:

Shoes, get em at PayLess or Target they are only worn for an hour or two anyway. Bring comfy ones for later in the evening, they don’t have to match. (cost 30$ vs $200)

Hair and Makeup, you don’t need a professional stylist, you can learn a lot from a magazine or a demo at the makeup, salon or department stores. (don’t tell them it’s for a wedding they will charge then, say it’s for a black tie event you are going to when you go buy new makeup or get your hair cut. Experiment a few times on your own before the big day)  (cost $50 makeup & $50 cut vs $150 styling & $150 makeup artist)

Some people are ok with David’s Bridal type dresses or ordering online from Jcrew or Ann Taylor. ($300-$1000)These are thousands less than the bridal gowns you see in magazines that range from $1,000.00 to $10,000.00. Most of the cheaper ones copy the fancy ones anyway just with more affordable materials and less markup.

Invitations don’t have to have velum paper or the thick cardstock that you could cut a steak with. No one remembers the invite anyway, so pick something pretty but affordable too.  And don’t try and print them yourself unless you are a graphic designer with access to the real deal materials. It’s more trouble than it’s worth and they never look the same. ($2-5 each vs $10-20 each) David’s Bridal sells nice custom printed basic black ink on white paper with pastel lined envelope sets for even less now too. Avoid Paper Source unless you are rolling in cash. They are ridiculously expensive and don’t even look at the DIY kits or multiple ink colors.

Also, skip the limo and borrow someone’s fancy car in the family instead, and have one of the ushers drive it for you. As long as it’s got streamers on it, it’s fair game! Get the photographer to ride shotgun and take pix also. Having backup photos from friends and relatives with digital cameras also helps catch more unexpected moments. (cost: free & saves limo fees of $50-$100 per hour)

Consider wedding and reception dates in the winter or off season. Many reception locations (banquet halls, country clubs, restaurants) have lower prices for the meal and services in their off season, winter. If they don’t offer you lower prices for those times, ask and bargain with them because it is totally acceptable to ask for a better deal. The markup on all wedding related things is like 300% so taking 10% off is not going to hurt their bottom line. (cost: save $500-$1,000 depending on how large your wedding is)

Anyway, these are my suggestions, I hope they help you plan a very important day and make it easier to get through. A lot happens with weddings and families and your life. Its a big moment. Remember to stay calm and focus on why you’re there in the first place and it will all eventually work out fine. And congratulations!